Backyard Sports Timeout – Where our coaches field parents’ questions about Team Sports and offer ways to make it the Fun, Enriching Experience it’s supposed to be
Q: My son is on our town soccer team and he adores his coaches and teammates but he gets discouraged because he doesn’t get as much play time as his friends. How can we keep him motivated and encouraged when he talks about quitting?
A: Playing time is certainly a huge issue because kids don’t sign up for a sport to sit on a bench. If they’re not playing, they’re not developing. It really is that simple. So the first piece falls to the parents. The parents need to communicate with the coaches during the course of the season. They have the right to ask, “What is your attitude about play time? Can we expect to see our son play in each game?”
Certainly when children are younger, the parents should have the expectation that their children are going to play and they’re going to play meaningful minutes. Simply throwing a kid in for a couple of minutes at the end of the game when the winner is already determined is not meaningful.
The younger age range is the time when the rules of the game are learned so every child can benefit from equal play time or meaningful minutes.However, if a kid is seven or eight years old and doesn’t have the motor skills to catch a ball yet, chances are he’s not going to play first base. It’s a safety issue. Similarly, if a kid has a fear of the ball, it might not be a good idea to have him catch. This is where open communication with the coach is beneficial, so you can understand your son’s skill level well enough to explain it to him.
What people also need to realize is that not everyone can be the best person on the team. Whether that’s a Little League team or the New York Yankees, people have to realize that there are hierarchies of players. Some kids are very talented at an earlier point in their development and some kids will have to understand that their abilities haven’t peaked quite yet. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with explaining that to your child. That’s not killing his self-esteem or insinuating he’s a bad player. It’s simply explaining that kids have different skill levels or that more practice is needed to improve a particular skill. It’s a very meaningful life lesson that kids will need to learn.
The Big Takeaway: In the end, find out if your son is truly having fun. Being on a sports team is hard work, but it’s also fun when you have the right coach and teammates. Talk with the coach and find out why your child isn’t getting as much play time. Are there exercises he can do at home to improve? Open communication and asking questions will put you on the right path.
Backyard Sports provides weekend and after school sports instruction and game play for boys and girls ages 4-16 years old. Our programs are designed for EVERY child who desires a positive and healthy sports experience. #CompetitiveSportsDoneRight